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Posts Tagged ‘ginger’

The Types of Gingers there are.

In Media, Men, Relationship, Sex, Sexist, Uncategorized, Women on June 16, 2011 at 3:40 pm


Gingers are a staple of human kind. They have red hair, and for this they will always get attention. The type of attention is subjective though, which is both hilarious and sad, so I’ll outline to you the different types of gingers that exist on earth. Personally, I find gingers fabulous, but not everyone shares my open mind.

The Angry Ginger: There is an angry ginger within every ginger, purely because they are a ginger, but some of them are very transparent with their anger. The Angry Ginger spends their entire life defending themselves all while unintentionally making people hate them more. Society is aware of these gingers and laughs at them, inciting even more anger. Unfortunately, Angry Gingers never stop being Angry Gingers.

The Slutty Ginger: Gingers have a reputation for being nymphs in bed. Because of this reputation, some gingers spend their times fulfilling their predetermined destiny. Because people expect them to be freaks in the sheets, they are freaks in the sheets. They get lots of attention because every guy/girl is curious to see if the curtains match the carpet so sex is never in short supply. Whenever I meet a ginger, I usually imagine them to be kinky freaks in bed and I have to stop talking to them because it makes me feel inadequate. Like the Angry Ginger, there is a Slutty Ginger inside of every ginger.

The Funny Ginger: Gingers, boys especially, are always funny, because they have to be. They know that their hair will be pointed out at least once a day for the rest of their life and that people already will laugh at them regardless of their personality, so they make the selling point of their personality their humor. The Funny Ginger is my favorite type of ginger because a) I love to laugh and b) I feel less like of an asshole when I am laughing with them rather than at them. A sad, sexist reality of gingerdom is that there are hardly any funny ginger women, mostly just bitchy ones. Kathy Griffin is the exception to the rule.

The Attractive Ginger: My best friend fits into this category and I don’t have a lot to say about it other than they are fabulous human beings. Attractive gingers are amazing, they have all of the fabulous qualities that having red hair entails, plus, they are exceptionally beautiful because they are a dime a dozen with their orange heads. Attractive Gingers are loved by everyone because they are so rare. A lot of girls I meet claim that they would never date a ginger, but when I point out a hot ginger, we all make an exception.

The Famous Ginger: Prince Harry, Chuck Norris, Lucille Ball, Julianne Moore, Lindsey Lohan. Besides Harry, the redness of the hair of these individuals has largely contributed to their success. Would Lindsey have been cast in The Parent Trap had she been anything other than a cute red head with freckles? Doubtful. The Famous Ginger is crucial for the ginger population because it gives society an in depth look at the life of a Ginger. These figureheads are crucial for the well being of all living Gingers.

I don’t know why I find Gingers so fascinating. Once my ginge best friend and I were walking down the street and we walked past another red-head girl and they smiled at one another. I was totally confused and asked her why they smiled at each other. Was it because they are both red-heads so they must have some type of telepathic connection? Her response: “No Lara, I used to work with her.”

-Lara, New York City