Three

Avez-vous?

In Uncategorized on May 9, 2012 at 1:03 am

And this is called taking you for granted. starting a sentence with and leaves such a delicious taste in my mouth like a fresh kumquat you picked yourself followed by a handful of raspberries from your childhood backyard.

It is mysterious we preach and pray and screech  and think we aren’t going to be heard until something adjusts. Like how you adjust your car seat because the last person to sit there was so much taller and had dark brown hair and a crooked smile, a smile warm with familiarity and content… knowing this person has known you for years. Nothing is comforting like surrounding yourself with those you’ve known you for years. There is something glamorous in moodiness but at the same time there is nothing special about it at all

Optional Title

In Uncategorized on April 27, 2012 at 3:19 am

You pull out one of your left ribs and try to slice his throat. but first you sink to your knees, head in your arms on your lush lavender bathroom rug and sob for 20 minutes next to your slowly diminishing bubble bath. At least you poured the 3rd glass down the drain, at least you will eventually make your way into the water no matter how cold it has became.

That’s what happens when you love someone with a different first language. You will never truly know what that other is saying. so you kneel in a fetal upright position and sob while noting the large amounts of hair on the tile floor. The tile floor that looks like little hexagons of flowers grouped in 5′s. Every time you see them you want to paint them but just like everything else you resist. 

J,sf

Achievable

In Uncategorized on April 16, 2012 at 5:22 am

Ever have one of those days when suddenly everything feels so trivial? Your existence doesn’t even cross your mind but you are also completely aware of every breath you are taking. It is a steady reminder of “I am, I am, I am…”

You briefly skim over the news. 70 dead, 3 shot, man paralyzed and then go complain about the difficulty of your upcoming exam. An exam written by a person told they can critique you based on the set standards of an institution you pay to go to and be told these lines. We aren’t living our lives because we are pushed onto a rolling machine. We don’t even pick the path of where it goes most times, It just stamps out our graduation caps and a rolled up piece of paper saying “Thanks for your financial contributions, this may or may not get you hired.

By the way, what if you die 2 days later? Was it worth it? Did it really matter that you didn’t study and memorize the dates for your Asian art class, which you have zero interest in. Not at all.  

When does living start? Why am I so important? As I write this thousands are dying, children starve but I know tomorrow I walk past at least 10 groups of peers, with outfits worth thousands of dollars. Might as well go find a starving child and repeatedly kick them. Just like people who chose to spend their free time consuming substances to alter their state of being. Ever wonder why? How much time and money you have spent on yourself just to change your scenery for a couple hours. Why does it take getting sick/horrible news to remind us to really live and appreciate the human experience.

So until then, avoid eye contact with strangers, keep taking shots every weekend, and gossip to keep the conversations going.

I understand why some people chose to scar their faces for beauty.

-j

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